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| This is Norm Abram of "The New Yankee Workshop". Norm is using an electric sander. How's that for random? |
Anyone notice how many bathrooms are in first-person shooters? Seriously, pop one in and check out said random game's campaign or multiplayer maps...you're almost guaranteed to find at least one bathroom or toilet in there. It has to be some kind of cruel running joke among video game developers. I can imagine a development team, sitting around some kind of Dr. Strangelove-inspired War Room table, smoking cigarettes and brainstorming new ideas on how to incorporate a bathroom in their newest shoot-em-up, as if some kind of celestial force compelled them. My favorite FPS bathroom? How can anyone forget the almighty bathrooms in Timesplitters' almighty "Chinese Restaurant" map? My friends and I still, to this day, crack ourselves up over how amazing the "Chinese bathrooms" were. And believe you me, they were unbelievably unbelievable. Yeah, redundancy is freaking awesome, man.
Who's worse: The Tea Party or CNN? If you don't mind, I'd like to get a little political on your punk asses. I'm not a fan of the so-called "Tea Party". Sure, their rallies are certainly inspiring on paper, but their views are a bit extreme for my tastes. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for the "disgruntled citizen"; hell, I think we, as a nation, should protest the status quo more often, it's our first amendment right. On the other hand, I'm against ignorance. When a group of people unites under the banner of ignorance, I'm instantly repulsed. There's no denying that some facets of the Tea Party are inherently ignorant; however, if you watch CNN, you'd think these "new radicals" were the second coming of the Ku Klux Klan. Tea Partiers have criticized the left-leaning network for dragging their image through the dirt, while CNN claims that Tea Partiers are "ignorant and proud" and generally amoral. Which side am I on? Neither. I don't care. They're both ridiculous and overdramatic...and that's the last you'll hear from me about it.
Can Buffalo Sports Get Any More Frustrating? I don't know what to think anymore. On paper, both of our major sports franchises are making some boneheaded, idiotic, bumbling, incompetent and incoherent moves. The Sabres' waiving and subsequent buyout of hometown hero Tim Kennedy over a supposed $200,000 is a headscratcher, one that has already angered many loyal Sabres followers and season ticket holders. No, it certainly isn't the end of the line for the Sabres, nor is it something that will instantly push the Sabres back into mediocrity, but Kennedy's local upbringing, upside and marketability is something that will turn fans into furious whiners. After all, this team still has the inconsistent talents of Jochen Hecht, Jason Pominville and Tim Connolly under its employ. On the other side of town, it's hard to tell if the Buffalo Bills actually exist. Training camp attendance is at an all-time low, hope for the team is dwindling and future franchise player CJ Spiller still hasn't signed his rookie contract. With the release of longtime Bills defensive end Aaron Schobel this afternoon, there isn't much for Bills fans to get excited over...the team is dangerously thin at offensive line, their pitiful starting quarterback, Trent Edwards, was recently referred to as "Justin Bieber" by ESPN's Adam Schefter (evidence here) and their new head coach, Chan Gailey, seems to talk a big game but still hasn't proven that he can lead the Bills back to a playoff berth. After ten years of rebuilding seasons, can you blame Bills fans? Their bitterness is undeniably justified. Even so-called silver linings are subject to endless criticism on the multitude of Bills message boards around the web. After all is settled, only results will be able to convince Buffalo fans to get excited. Quite frankly, Buffalo fans are tired of smoke, mirrors, excuses and empty promises...it's time for some visible proof that these teams can actually compete with some of the higher-caliber franchises in their respective sports.
No, This Soundtrack Isn't Going to Make Me Watch Eclipse. Sorry. The Dead Weather. The Black Keys. Muse. Cee-Lo Green. Metric. What do these bands or artists have in common? Oh yeah, they're all pretty damn good, I'm already fully aware of that. Apart from that, they're all featured on the official soundtrack to chapter three in the downfall of western civilization, known simply as "The Twilight Saga". As intriguing a soundtrack listing as Eclipse's is, however, it doesn't overshadow the fact that it's a representative of a multi-million dollar marketing empire targeted at the young and desperate (hell, even overweight and nerdy guys like myself can find better things to focus our young and desperate eyes on, like the endless amount of hilarious and racy romance scenes in the Mass Effect series, or the upcoming Scott Pilgrim vs. The World...damn, Mary Elizabeth Winstead sure is cute). I have to admit, though: in an era where the soundtrack is a dying artform, the soundtracks for this series certainly give musical aficionados a lot to talk about. It's just that it's hugely unfair that this music has to be affiliated with such a disposable and low-quality pop culture phenomenon.
Let me know if I should continue this or let it bite the dust by leaving a comment or choosing one of the many "your say" options below. I appreciate it in advance, it helps me out a lot.
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